There is a kind of impasse where anything you do will break something. It's not indecision, it's not weakness, and it's not a lack of information. It's just that the two obligations that pull you in opposite directions are both true. Moral philosophy has a name for this, and it's worth knowing the name, because it changes the way you deal with your own impasse.
The conflict that is resolved
Most duty conflicts are not what they seem. Two obligations pull in opposite directions, but when you look closely, one of them is more serious, and it is that which decides. You miss an appointment to help someone who is feeling ill on the street. There were two duties there, arriving on time and providing assistance, one of them won, and you did nothing wrong. It's an apparent conflict: it hurt to choose, but the right choice existed, and it was discoverable.
The rare case: the genuine moral dilemma
There is another case, and this is rare. This is what moral philosophy calls a genuine moral dilemma. Both obligations remain intact. None give in. And anything you do will break one of them. There is no clean way out, there is only a costly one. The difference to the apparent conflict is not one of degree, it is of structure: in the first case, looking closely resolves it; in the second, looking closely only confirms that the two obligations remain intact, after you chose.
The case that illustrates: Hamlet
This is the case in which Hamlet is trapped, and it is worth understanding why, because the mechanism is exactly as described above, without a shortcut.
The ghost of Hamlet's father appears and tells him what is happening to him: "Doom'd for a certain term to walk the night, / And for the day confined to fast in fires, / Till the foul crimes done in my days of nature / Are burnt and purged away" (Hamlet, Act I, Scene 5). And he asks for revenge against the brother who murdered him.
There is the first obligation: the son owes the father. And there is the second, which the same scene carries without having to say it out loud: revenge is what God's law reserves for himself, not for the hands of a son.
If Hamlet obeys his father, he kills a man and condemns himself. If he obeys God, he leaves a murderer on the throne, and betrays his father. There is no third door that solves both at the same time. That's why it takes so long. Not because you don't know what to do. Because he knows both things at the same time, and both things are still right after he decides.
Naming doesn't solve it, but it changes the question
Recognizing a genuine moral dilemma does not return the clean exit it denies. What changes is the question you ask yourself afterwards. Faced with an apparent conflict, the right question is "which of the two duties is more serious here?", and it has an answer. Faced with a genuine dilemma, this question has no answer, because both duties remain equally serious. The question that remains is another: what cost are you willing to bear, knowing that it is a cost, and not an error?
It is this distinction that separates those who blame themselves for not having found the perfect way out from those who understood that, there, the perfect way out did not exist. Hamlet is not the man who could not decide. He is the man who realized, before any other character in the play, that the two doors took a toll.
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What is the difference between an apparent conflict of duties and a genuine moral dilemma?
In the apparent conflict, two obligations seem to oppose each other, but when you look closely, one of them is more serious, and it is this that decides: you miss an appointment to help someone who is feeling ill, there were two duties, one expired, and you did nothing wrong. In a genuine moral dilemma, the two obligations remain intact, neither gives way, and any choice breaks one of them.
Why does Hamlet take so long to act?
Not because he doesn't know what to do, but because he knows both things at the same time. If he obeys his father's order, he kills a man and condemns himself. If he obeys God's law, he leaves a murderer on the throne and betrays his father. There is no third door.
Does a genuine moral dilemma have a solution?
Not a clean solution. There is a way out, but every way out comes at a cost, because both obligations continue to apply even after the choice. What changes, when you name the dilemma, is that you stop looking for the option that costs nothing, because it does not exist.
Continue: Why Hamlet Doesn't Kill Claudius Praying · Hamlet's ghost: purgatory or hell? · Hamlet, by Shakespeare: Summary and Analysis · What is Fides et Ratio
Source class: Hamlet, de William Shakespeare